its been a long time since i've last blogged. how as life been? sure, it has its ups and down, but all in all, God has been good. even though i really dont deserve what i got, but its the beauty of grace that makes life unfair.

well, i'm really really really glad that it happened. but, to know that you have been thinking that way really really hurts me. and it hurts like hell. i couldnt sleep last night, that thought of you thinking that way kept me up all night. but i still hope you feel the same way i do.

its just taking that step of faith.

nat, its time to snap out of it.*

its just taking that step of faith to believe what you have been called to do. somhow, i got reminded that this isnt about me, and that i've got soo much more that i can give, so much more that i can offer. nevermind what i did in the past. the deal is done, and i've been redeemed.

letting the past be history isnt that easy after all. letting go isnt that easy. but its just taking the step of faith to believe that youre worth something in God's sight, which will make a huge difference.

surrender.
i wonder how close can i get to my surrender before turning back, before running away from what i am to do. just how close can i get. whenever i have things going my way, a wall will just "pop" up right in front of me.
i try to remain optimistic about things, reminding myself of the promises that i have. it all seems so blur now. if its really for me, why not just show me, if its really for me, why not just guide me, if its really for me, why not just help me.
maybe its not me. maybe all this has been a joke. maybe, i'm just NOT GOOD ENOUGH. i cant keep reminding myself of who i am in you. now i wonder, if i am even in you.

yawn. i'm tired. haha. woke up 0730 hrs today. just to do my project work. hah. anyways, God has been Good. never failing to answer my prayers. I LOVE YOU!.=)

its been only a week since I HAVE ALOT, and it feels like a month. and i'm missing alot of people. AND!!!, I MISS DOING THE WALTZ!!! hahaha. the songs just keep running through my head!!!!
THIS IS THE BIGGEST NIGHT OF OUR LIVES. CUTE GUYS AND GIRLS WILL TAKE THE LAM-LIGHT, SO BRING OUT THE GLITZ AND GLMOUR IN SIDE(dadadada). ITS NOT JUST ANOTHER PARTY WITH LIGHTS ITS NOT JUST ANOTHER TIME TO GET HIGH, SO WELCOME TO OUR COLLEDGE PROM NIGHT!(dadadada)


GOD IS GOOD.

I HAVE ALOT!

its been a wonderful journey serving the Lord in this event. i'll miss every minute of the rehearsal that we had. rehearsals that stretched till its super late at night. i will miss the times we had having meals tgt, laughing and talking about any random thing that comes to mind. i'll miss dancing with the guys, and waltzing with my partner. i'll miss putting on make up on my face, and getting pimples as a result of that. sigh. lest i forget all that has happened in these few months.

indeed God hass been good. giving us strength the come for rehearsals, healing those who are sick, and providing for those who are in need. without God, i dont think this event will be such a success.
looking back to the first rehearsal that i was called down to attend. i really didnt expect myself to be a dancer, neither did some of the other guys. we all struggled with the dance steps at first, but somhow with some devine intervention, we managed to pull all of the dances off.

i have learnt alot through the course of this event. God has never failed to be there for me. whenever i called, He was there, always reminding me that He is with me and that everything will be okay. I LOVE YOU.
God is Good.

its 3 days to the event. argh!!! i dont want to to end. BUT..oh wells. sigh. i've been going to church everyday for the past 3 weeks?. and gosh, we've come soooo far. for the guys who have absolutely no dancing backgraound. hah. thank God for everything.

argh!!! i'm starting to have withdrawal symptoms already! gosh. i think i'll really miss the guys over at PL. new friendships were made during the course of the event. gaud! i'll really miss you guys! sigh..

"i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." thank God for that. =)

3 months ago, my life was in a wreak. i was in a "roller coaster" ride. my emotions were all over the place, i had no direction, i didnt know who to turn to, i didnt know who i can talk to, after loosing that special someone. that someone whom i loved, that someone who was my bestfriend.
i was broken. it cut soo deeply. i didnt know what to do. for that moment, i didnt even believe that there was a God. if God was even there for me. i found myself in an emo state. outwardly, everything would be fine, going to church became a routine. i'd go to church every week wearing a mask. i wasnt the nathanael that i was before. i was negetive, i was prideful, i was not the nathanal that i am today.

somehow or another, God met me. i never knew that i would be able to climb out of the emotional rut that i was in. but with God, i was able to. God saw my struggles, He heard my cries. He worked through my tears, He sends leaders to talk to me, He sends people to encourage me, and i manage to get myself back on my feet.

God is really amazing, GOD IS GOOD.

"so be strong and courageous! do not be afraid and do not panic before them. for the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. he will never fail you nor abandon you" dueteronomy 31:6 (NLT)